The evening began with a sense of optimism, what had been a stringy six at 10am had become a respectable 8 by 9pm. Whilst we had arrived...

Quarter 1.    Shute shoots and scores after 16 secs.    Holah fouls and is removed from the fray after a further 30 secs and again...

After hearing distressing reports that East Londoners were having shit chat and seeing off Smirnoff Ices, we as a club felt it was our...

As Jacob Zuma (ex South African President) once stated in a 2008 interview to Al Jazeera, “As you know, there’s been almost a Ding Dong...

Another well fought South London derby between the Narwhals and the Leeches ended with an 18-14 victory for the Narwhals. Two full...

In what can only be described as a lovely Wednesday night on the fringes of Bushy Park (yes there is a pun somewhere in that but I can’t...

London Aquatics Centre, bathed in the golden blush of an early summer sunset, bore witness to a tale of guts, glory, and gallant defeat...

When a couple of Narwhals get an opportunity to review a special toilet they take a shit. And what is more special than one of the most...

From your Narwhal golf correspondent Wednesday 18:00, your correspondent is happily filling small holes in large areas of grass left by...

El Clásico? North London Derby? The Old Firm? Palace v Brighton? No, this is the latest sporting rivalry on the block. It may be only a...

Match Report – Filed remotely from the sub-tropical paradise of Centre Parcs As the Narwhals took to the pool against Kingston on...

Part 1 Scroll scroll. Wet poo. Scroll. Are the boys changed yet? Andy’s had a hair cut. Scroll scroll. Contacts in. Trunks on. Second wee...

A notable air of confidence was around the lido poolside - Matt showing off his massive brand new balls as always, Dave Leach berating...

After embarrassing the Narwhals in the South London derby last week, the last thing we needed was to call upon the Leeches to join the...

There are moments in life when one is graced with a table overlooking the most breathtaking of vistas - a candlelit balcony perched above...

We’ve all seen Stormzy’s go to order at McDonalds, but what about our might Narwhals I hear you say? We’ll an away game in Essex v Easter...

In the latest installment of the "War at Whitgift" on February 26, 2025, the South London Leeches finally broke their regular season...

This report has been redacted under the requirements of the official secrets act of 1957 and revisions in 1982 and 2025. 10 Narwhals...

A long and tedious journey, was it worth it or not - polo aside this time. The multiple delayed trains and large amount of chicken before...

Through sore muscles and weary bones, the Narwhals took to the seas once more on Thursday, February 13th, sailing into hostile waters at...