Mission Log: Pre-Game Operations

Prior to our aquatic skirmish, agents George, TJ, and Will embarked on a covert reconnaissance mission to Nando’s. Objective: secure pre-game sustenance, test mild sauces, and ensure optimal levels of energy without consuming legumes. Mission accomplished. Chicken consumed, tactical discussions held over garlic bread, and our heroes returned to base ready for war.

Phase One: The Calm Before the Storm

Kick-off saw Narwhal forces slightly depleted, with Captain Shute arriving in a classic Narwhals delayed manner and Charles, just as late, arriving with Vegas themed trunks with sizes that felt slightly insulting to the Baby Narwhals. The opposition, perhaps sensing weakness, dared to hope. Andy, our first-choice shot stopper, held the fort with admirable composure. By half time, the scoreboard reflected a tentative 4-1 to Orca with a goal from Charles being our only offensive outlet. It was however, an early warning that things were still very precarious.

Phase Two: The Rise of Will, Keeper of the Deep

With Andy relieved, Will assumed the mantle of goalkeeper. What followed can only be described as aquatic heroics of the highest order. One-on-ones were saved, shots blocked with terrifying precision (accuracy may be dramatised as this was written by Will). Morale surged through the Narwhal ranks like an uncontainable tidal wave. Meanwhile, TJ provided moments of comedy and drama: his first penalty attempt spectacularly fluffed, followed by a second, decisive strike that left the opposition slack-jawed and muttering pleas of “please don’t score.” “Finally I’m not going to Portugal” Portugal's number 1 tourist says, knowing full well this was given to him on a silver platter.

Phase Three: The Great Goal Deluge

Offensive operations reached full throttle. Goals rained down from every angle: TJ, Joe and Shute who scored 4 overall by the final whistle despite being the last one there, the scoreboard gleamed 10-4 to Narwhal’s. Opponents were bewildered, the crowd of 1 awed.  Success all around and with a total budget of £260 donated begrudgingly to TFL and Finchy miraculously keeping his license (he didn't play but it's still impressive), the day was considered a great success.

MOTM: Charles

Moment: TJ scoring his penalty

Fluffer: TJ missing his penalty

#Forza Narwhali!