Artemis 2 encircles Enfield

10-9-8-7-6…. It isn’t the countdown for Narwhals blasting off to their round trip to High Barnet. The table has lost the plot on the scores again.

Two weeks ago, El Presidente Ogg announced to tired eyes Narwhals. We were the first nation to set foot on the moon, cough, Enfield. Sure, the Croydon people have a very poor living standard, limited healthcare and a disproportionately high number of one ethnicity in the ‘justice’ system, but we will go to Enfield again.

A hastily assembled team from nations not always friendly was duly dispatched to once again begin their orbit of the M25.

Pre-match ramble… Captain Gamble, Pilot Shute, AstroNarwhals Presidente Ogg and Sub-Secretary Dickinson appreciated the preflight space food, kindly provided by McDonald's. Good sturdy vomit-inducing food which seemed to fire Shute to a powerful 8 goals, although left Gamble to transfer to the Portuguese space programme (alongside hardworking TJ). It also resulted in Dickinson being fired from the programme, and Ogg to argue with his controllers so probably not to be repeated. 🤥

Match… everything went to plan, Nick and Dan scored a lot of goals, Tim did a lot of space walking, Rob did some wrestling with the space toilet, and Will kept, defended, scored, and mensched it. Finch scored a moment of true quality from the pit and had a lovely father-son moment with junior covering most of his swims. Junior also gloriously took Rob’s majors for him – thanks, old TJ. Oggy got very unlucky in the pit (something about a handsy alien), TJ worked hard, good assists (credited to Gamble). Final score 20-13.

The AstroNarwhals received a quick celebratory call from the president, even quicker pint with the aliens in the local establishment (looked like a northern motorway junction) and returned to orbit and a splash landing in Croydon.

Forza Narwhali

MoM: Nick, Will, Rob

Moment: Finch Sr, Me

Fluffer: Finch Sr