An Open Water Special

In what can only be described as a lovely Wednesday night on the fringes of Bushy Park (yes there is a pun somewhere in that but I can’t be bothered), the WT Narwhals faced off against the Blue Marlins in an atmospheric open-water, flood-lit fixture.

On the day of the game, things didn’t look promising. Only a feeble six players were available and whispers of a forfeit floated on the wind. With hope fading and dreams of a sofa-based evening gathering momentum, the call of a Narwhal Horn pierced the calm. “Badooooop Badooooop!” – the ancient cry of a Narwhal in need – echoed from Crystal Palace.

Tim Young had answered the call. The man has an innate sixth sense to detect when I am preparing for a relaxed evening rather than a game of polo… The six became seven. Hope revived anew. Netflix-and-chill was sadly postponed… but the plot thickened! As the swim-off loomed, another horn broke the evening calm – this one with an unmistakable twang of Italian flair: “Badooopi Badoooopi!” It could only be Papa Di Mari, emerging from a shroud of newborn nappies with enthusiasm… and a fan in tow. Sister Di Mari watched-on unimpressed, clearly questioning how this “water polo” warranted an audience.

This was very much a fixture of two ends. Specifically, a shallow end and a deep end. In a game containing 17 goals in total, only 2 were scored in the shallow end. This meant whoever could take their opportunities and score in the deep end would win the game.

The first quarter started well with Finch Senior, Rob D, Gio and Finch Junior each grabbing excellent goals from the top of the arc. Q1 finished, Narwhals 4-0 up – crisp, composed, clinical. An Early lead to the Narwhals. Now came our time to defend the deep end. We did manage to grab the only two shallow end goals of the night, but Marlins squeaked it 3-2.

Quarter three, back to the deep end and back to business. The Narwhals unleashed a ruthless 5-0 third quarter. Fast breaks, pinpoint passing, and solid defensive work. At 11-3, the game was firmly in our grasp.

With the game in the bag, focus shifted to containment – and low-grade violence. The final quarter featured the game “Throw It Into Finchy and Watch Him Get Assaulted (Legally)” – a brutal exercise in pit resilience. Despite repeated maulings, Finchy somehow didn’t draw a single major. At this point, I just think the refereeing community don’t like him…

Final Score: Narwhals 11 – Marlins 6

Man of the Match went to Gio for turning up to a fixture with a two-week-old baby at home. Dedication that we can all take note of. Kudos must go to Rob D for some fine shooting and a delightful hattrick.

Moment went to Zach for his cannon of a goal from the top of the arc in Q1. Zach also wins fluffer for picking up 3 majors before half time and then being granted a reprieve when the table claimed he only had 2. He definitely had 3.*

The Narwhals go marching on, unfazed by low numbers, floodlights, or baffling refereeing. From the shallows to the depths, we rise.

Forza Narwhali *Editors Note: I definitely had 3

An Artists Recreation