Waterboxing

Editors note: This game took place on the 18th of March, 2024, meaning that not only is this *late*, but also extremely embarressing for Mr Adam who very keen heartedly volunteered himself to write it on the day. Fines will be administered.

Once again the Narwhals made their way up to the LAC to battle the Otters and attempt their first win of the year. As expected we all came for a game of water polo but unknowningly the ropes were up and boxing gloves laid out for us.

The game started off as imagined coming up to London. The organised refs did not bother turning up to officiate. Kindly the otters had enough players they were able to ref the game.

Accepting this was a mistake.

The first Round

The game started off in an ok fashion swings were taken by both teams and quick jab landed giving narwhals the lead with our Assists man Gamble making a lovely assist into the goal making it 1-0 up. 30 seconds later a counter right hook braught it back to 1-1. By the end of the quarter another 2 blows to the narwhals we’re taken leaving the round 3-1 to the otters.

The second Round

Ding ding the bell went and the second round was under way. After the first round we noticed the ref had been bought out. Otters reffing their own game led to a bias in calls made. Many fouls and majors were ‘missed by the ref’ for the otters but mild attempts by us were given away. Also the dinosaur running the table also conveniently forgot to run the 30 second clock for the otters but managed to keep on top of it for us. With this in place the narwhals kept their gloves up knowing their were many hits coming.On the more positive side the Narwhals picked up the pace and scored landed another 2 punches within the quarter but still conceding 3 more blows again putting the score at half time 6-3 to the otters.

The third Round

Annoyed at the game, the rage in the Narwhals grew. This led to a more aggressive game coming out and tensions grew between the teams. A strong quarter with 4 might strike scored by our team and many great blocks by our own goalie Mr Winterbottom. It was 4-2 as the quarter came to a close but a last minute missile from their keeper crossed over the pool and snuck past our keeper as the buzzer went off ending the quarter. The score after the 3rd quarter being 9-7 to Otters.

The final round

At this point the Narwhals were completely frustrated by how the game was reffed most at this point cared less for the score and was just out to land as many punches as they can. It’s the best therapy we get. Now the aggression got a bit too far but well deserved. A young cocky member of the otters hit below the belt and made a rude comment about our pit defender Zach Finch. Finchy had enough and thought fuck it throwing an absolute wamper and sparked the little shit in the jaw. It all blows up. From the ropes our Captain Mr Shute shouts at our TJ Charles to tag rearm wrestle mania style in beating the boy. Too confused and stunned at what was going on he sat there like a little duckling like he had for the rest of the game. As Charles finally figured out what was going on Rob was ready for his turn at the new boxing therapy we are trying out. Fist ablaze Rob lands another punch on the Boy’s head. At this point the refs thought to get involved. They sent out Zach but not Rob silly mistake. The boy makes a crap attempt at an apology. Zach missing from the pool at this point left Rob to respond to which all was said was ‘I’m not sorry for what I did’. The game continued and the fight got dirty. A Minute left on the clock and at this point the score is 9-10 to otters. Momentum changed. The Narwhals saw hope in not loosing another game. A hard drive was made and a knockout hit lands. AND ITS FOR THE NARWHALS. ITS A DRAW. We celebrate well, knowing we had not lost a game that was rigged from the start.

It was a tough game and although he let one slip by the keeper, our Keeper had an amazing game so is our man of the match. Well done Andy!

Our top moment was the ‘altercation’ where two of our members beat a minor. So our moment of the match is a joint podium for Zach and Rob for the defending the honour.

Young ducklings are described as fluffy and that is accurate for our Fluffer Award Our little duckling Charles receives this award today.

It wasn’t the winning result we wanted but the most interesting one in a while. The losing streak may be over but when will the Narwhals find their first win of the year? Maybe next time, Forza Narwhali