Narwhals vs Enfield 2 – did someone mention a cat???

From your Narwhal golf correspondent

Wednesday 18:00, your correspondent is happily filling small holes in large areas of grass left by errant golfers. The rest of the day is sorted – 19th, beer, sandwiches, polo, more beer. Should be an easy game, team of 11 so plenty of subs.

Wednesday 18:07, pocket vibrates. First catawampus moment - Punchy messaged that his daredevil cat is now at the vets. Punchy has withdrawn from the game – shameful catso…

Wednesday 18:09, another leg massage. Newby J is drinking in Greece. Hope it’s not catjang - but at least he is thinking about the game.

Wednesday 18:18, more upper thigh massage. “Same here”, says the DM man. Catawampus moments seem to be catching on….

Wednesday 18:47, catachresis message from the boss, now 8 and needing to do table. So no more mdms…..

Wednesday 19:15, back in 19th. London Pride with many sandwiches – perfect pre-match preparation.

So, what about the match??? A simple stableford event played over 4 holes.

As is well known, you drive for show but putt for dough. Mr Finch arrived in the car park in a cloud of dust…..

Hole 1, a success for the Narwhals despite Messrs Ogg and Finch Jnr both being penalised for impeding the opposition’s swing.

Hole 2, a second success for the Narwhals following some challenging play from the rough. But more swing impeding penalties for Messrs Gamble and Dickinson.

Hole 3, very long with multiple trips into the lateral water hazards. And some further breaches of rule 1.2 (Standards of Player Conduct) by all the same culprits. But a lucky chip secured the Narwhals a slim advantage.

Hole 4, an unexciting par 4 ending in a tie. Sadly, after playing only two holes Mr Gamble was disqualified for serious misconduct under rule 1.2a….

Despite the cathartic benefits of voting, votes were limited. But enough to catalogue some key moments.

• Mr Shute’s flop shot into the casual water leaving Mr Demari no chance of a catch gave him a catamite fluffer award.

• Despite his impeding penalty Mr Ogg was MoM.

• Moment went to Mr Dickinson for chipping the ball off the head of their goalie into the hole.

So, after a catty start the Narwhals ended with a convincing win.

Perhaps your correspondent has a touch of catabiotic senescence…..?