Don't Swim Back in Anger

It’s 845.

Perspiration dripping from your forehead. You open your mobile phone browser to get tickets for what is likely going to be the biggest event of the year.

Noise, carnage, expectation.

The lads haven’t played together in ages. Surely they can’t be getting back together. They had that big fight on tour. Are they only doing it for the money? Imagine the piss being thrown from the stands. Will they be able to conjure up the magic

Horrendous. Amazing. Bewildering?

Well, you hear it here first.

After an absence of a whopping 250 hours the Narwhals are back in the water playing their hits.

Don’t swim back in anger

Stop pooing your heart out

Half the pool away (in Portugal)

The Masterplan (the don’t be shit version)

Kingston Royals were named supporting artist on the ticket but were determined to blare out their latest offering, “Narwhals get battered everywhere they go.” Penned in Dorset the songs truth and temerity mask the inner fragility of the authors masculinity.

Kitted out in their raffle winnings: Dry robes (should we get some?), a chocolate duck, an aquarian visit and a free hand shandy from any Royal Standard local on your next visit, the Narwhals pressed ahead to a 5-0 loss in the first quarter before settling to a fair on paper result of 14-7 loss.

What happened in the game, I can’t quite remember. I just don’t want to be fined before we play Walton.

Finch Jr continues his one man effort for the golden fist with two majors.

Tour top scorer Dickinson was back to his normal role of missing everything. Maybe it is easier when the goals move with the tide. Practise with the Fanta a bit more our kid.

Three goals to Nick with goals generally shared across the team with contributions from Gamble, Holah, George, Finch.

Terrific comeback game from Tim Penfold… Great shot in the first quarter and swam hard. Shame he’s going to Portugal with 6 of the Kingston team. Shall we mark 3, 10 and 11 next time or just sit off again?

There was a competitive vote for man, moment and fluffer of the match. John Holah’s goal reached the target. New dad and shackled from tour Shute using his two baby weightlifting regime strength adopting a new position in the pit with several good goals.

It was the turn however of Dickinson to claim a much cherished Portuguese Triple Crown for hitting every part of the wood work, throwing some lovely assists (and some bad ones), swimming around lots and turning up late whilst blanking on the sheet.

Next up an exciting away trip to Hampton Lido under the floodlights.

Forza Narwhali x

Ps, save the date, Christmas Doo 14th December